V: Yesterday an insane anger came. It is simply there, very massive. I have the feeling it tears me up from inside. Anger about needing somebody external who brings me release.

But I do not need anybody. I am. I am wholesome myself. I am no sheep in a flock that needs a shepherd. That all is not correct. I fight with this in a certain way. I have asked myself whether it is resistance or defiance.

However, it feels like an inner knowledge that it is like this, that it is right.

Madhukar: Well, if it would be an inner knowledge, then there would be no necessity for this anger. It is theoretical knowledge. And if it would be knowledge, then you would be aware of the lion and you would see the other male and female lions. Between them there are sheep, and they are not hassled with.

Because in the Sangha it is like in paradise. Also goats and sheep can live there next to the lions. Therefore, if you externally get in touch with a master in a male or female form then there is no anger. Anger is the frustrated ego, which wants to be Self, but knows that in reality it is not. That is why this defiance, this anger comes up. Good so.

Much better than if it would dwell down there or in a mask taking any form of friendliness or falsehood. It may come outside. The master does not limit you and say your are sheep, you are stupid, you are unknowing.

The master is always in unison with this absolute truth of which you just were talking about, that needs nothing and nobody, that has no needs. But as long as there is the merest identification with the body, with the person, it is very favorable meeting also in the outside a manifestation, physical and personally, in form of the master.

Then among others these influences come up and this time they can vanish. Once and for all.