This Happiness

My heart, beloved more than anything,

Beloved Madhukarji!

Weeks before you came to the retreat „Song of Silence“ to Carinthia my joy, my anticipation was endless. The heart was pulling, my longing for my home, for my true Self was limitless. It called me with such an intensity that often tears came up and they made my heart pulse.

Then, one day before this blessing week started, old garbage and resistances showed up. And out of reasons that I do not know, out of pure grace, I went anyway, and I will go to you again and again, following the call of my heart, leaving the mind-fuck behind me. Then, in the retreat, before the introduction, strong fear of you was added, and the resistances were so big that I was really in despair.

But then your love, your grace was flowing. With a couple of words and a loving embrace you welcomed me. With this you moved all the garbage away, out of my mind. You liberate me / this mind from everything that is blocking me from simply being. All obstacles vanish in you love in the end, and do not have any power over me anymore.

Beloved Guruji, I will never be able to express with words how much I love you, how much I worship you and how big my thankfulness is for all your love and grace. I want to get absorbed by it, wrapping myself into it like a candy, not wanting to be anywhere else anymore. Each time when I come to you, you are showing me that this freedom and love are my only wish. I want to dance, sing and scream this happiness out into the world.

Often tears come up because I fly so high, being so unashamedly happy, and my heart is flowing over with joy. I wish the entire world could experience this peace and get infected with the thirst for freedom. Nothing, absolutely nothing can exceed the contentment of staying in Beingness.

Thank you also that my children were allowed to be there on one evening. My little daughter said afterwards: “This was like vacation and I was crying with joy when I was looking in Madhukar’s eyes.”


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